Is Sex Dirty?
Conservatism, Religion, and Attitudes Towards Sex
I grew up in a home where religion wasn’t a part of our family dynamic. My relatives were church goers, so were my next-door neighbours, but my parents and I weren’t.
At a young age I began to become aware of a belief budding within me that there was more to the universe than just the material. For whatever reason, I began to, spontaneously, without any provocation, believe in a power greater than myself.
Being younger, I didn’t know to explore it outside of the confines of the religious traditions I was surrounded by. That meant that Christianity would be my guide in helping me try to make sense of who this “Higher Power” might be.
The Gideons visited my school in grade 4 and gave us all a “New Testament with Psalms and Proverbs.” I read that thing cover-to-cover several times. Without any guidance, the Bible can be a scary book, and parts of it certainly scared me. This, plus the moralizing of religious neighbours and family members, began to plant in my mind certain ideas about right and wrong.
By the time I was in my early teens I was ready to explore deeper. I discovered I had been baptized Catholic, so I began to attend Mass weekly, and eventually received my “First Holy Communion” and became confirmed. All this during a time when I had a girlfriend and we were experimenting with sex. We “only” had oral sex, so I thought that was ok.
Eventually I met a Priest who scolded me and told me otherwise. Thus, I became convinced I was destined for hell, because I didn’t want to stop the behaviour.
A conservative culture plus a conservative religion were my realities as a child. Because of these two, I had certain ideas about sex and sexuality impressed on me, and, although I didn’t like them, fear of retribution forced me to try to live up to them. I only ever met with limited success.
Who am I?
My name is Marc Spinoza, and I’m an erotic masseur in the Greater Toronto Area. I offer incall services in my private townhome in Mississauga, a suburb of Toronto. I also offer outcall services, and have an entire kit that I travel with, should you wish for me to come visit you.
I offer a sensual and erotic massage experience that you will not soon forget. I also offer “Sensate Therapy,” which is non-sexual touch designed to get you in touch with your body, to help you to reconnect to it. Reconnecting to your body is a crucial step in learning to love it.
The Truth About Sex
I had been taught that sex was “Dirty,” “For reproduction only,” and only “Only for married adults.” This created much pain and confusion in my life and was a dilemma that wouldn’t be resolved until many years later. Many years later, when I finally figured out the truth.
“The men of religion just wanted to control us. That was why they came up with all these rules.” Sorry, but I don’t agree: that answer is too pat, and too simple. I think the belief system they created was motivated by something much more fundamental: fear. I believe that, deep down, they were well-meaning, and only fearing for their own souls. I believe that they believed that, if they didn’t share the “truth” as they understood it, GOD would hold them accountable, and send them to hell:
“Son of man, I have appointed you a watchman to the house of Israel; whenever you hear a word from My mouth, warn them from Me. When I say to the wicked, ‘You will surely die,’ and you do not warn him or speak out to warn the wicked from his wicked way that he may live, that wicked man shall die in his iniquity, but his blood I will require at your hand.” – Ezekiel 3:17, 18
With such harsh threats in the Bible, who wouldn’t be afraid?
Regardless, their fear, IMHO, was misguided. I think the Bible was a book, written by well-meaning men, who were trying to figure out how the Creator of the universe was working in their lives. They got some stuff right, and they got some stuff wrong. And, some of what they got right was for their era only, and not applicable to ours.
Reason and common sense would dictate that sex comes with great responsibility, but at the same time is a wonderful thing meant to be shared and enjoyed. Sex is not dirty. Sex is not for marriage only. Sex is not necessarily only to be enjoyed in the context of a monogamous relationship. Much of what I was taught about sex I challenge today. That’s because, in my experience, much of what I was taught I believe was wrong.
Guidelines for a Happy Sex Life
Sex, as I mentioned earlier, comes with great responsibility. The more seriously we take that responsibility, the better the reward, I believe. I think the following guidelines ought to help shape a sound ideal for a fulfilling sex life:
1.Be honest – Be honest with your partners regarding what you want, what your boundaries are, and who you’re sharing yourself with sexually (if they want to know). Caveat: there are times when cheating may be preferable. This I cover in my blog “Musings on Sexual Intimacy.”
2.Show respect – don’t force your partner to do things they don’t want to.
3.Share – make sure your partner’s needs are being met, as well as yours. It’s not just about you.
4.Be Safe – do not compromise anyone’s health or risk an unwanted pregnancy: use appropriate protection.
5.Set (and communicate) clear boundaries – be clear with each other as to what’s acceptable in your sex life, and what isn’t.
So, Sex Isn’t Dirty?
No. No, it’s not.
Now, if you’ve been raped or sexually abused, then we have a different paradigm to resolve. This goes far beyond what you learned from religion or culture. You need to find a Psychotherapist who can help you through some thorny issues, and the sooner you can do it, the better off you’ll be.
But sex is not dirty, is not to be feared, and certainly is not “bad.” It’s wonderful, and a joy to share between two partners who are on the same page and attracted to each other. Just remember, it comes with as much responsibility as it does pleasure.
I’m Not Sure Where to Start?
Well, that’s where I come in. If you’re a woman who’s looking for both an intimate yet sexy time, I’m the guy to help . I love the female body, and I enjoy the company of a woman. My style is patient and caring, yet purposeful and erotic. A sexy massage may be just the thing you need, so why not consider contacting me today?
Men, although I do not offer full services, I can guarantee you a time you won’t forget, so it’ll be well worth your while too!