Learning to Love the Body You Have
“I Hate My Body”
I believe that what we say can affect us physically. If I say I hate my body, then I believe my body will take that message in, and I may well experience physical repercussions.
A man I once worked with (I am a life coach as well as a masseur), believed his penis was too small. Even though, by his own description, it was “average” in size, he was not satisfied with it. He’d often say, “I hate my penis.”
He also suffered from erectile dysfunction. I don’t believe that it was a coincidence his hatred of his penis AND his ED occurred simultaneously. Telling a part of your body – or your whole body, for that matter – that you hate it, sends it a strong message. Why wouldn’t it shut down on you? If you believe a part of your body to be inferior, ugly, worthless, useless, etc., then why wouldn’t it manifest physically those beliefs?
The good news is that this man eventually did to love himself, and his penis, and he came to accept himself just as he was. He realized that he was “wonderfully and perfectly made,” and that everything he had was just right for him. He had always been in top physical condition, had always eaten healthily, he had none of the usual preconditions for erectile dysfunction. The fact that he suffered from it suggested there was a deeper problem, which surely his self-hatred was. Once that issue was worked through, he once again became fully functional sexually.
Who am I?
My name is Marc Spinoza, and I’m an erotic masseur in the Greater Toronto Area. I offer incall services in my private townhome in Mississauga, a suburb of Toronto. I also offer outcall services, and have an entire kit that I travel with, should you wish for me to come visit you.
I offer a sensual and erotic massage experience that you will not soon forget. I also offer “Sensate Therapy,” which is non-sexual touch designed to get you in touch with your body, to help you to reconnect to it. Reconnecting to your body is a crucial step in learning to love it.
Hatred of our body causes us to disconnect from it. Loving it requires connection to it.
Do You Love Your Body?
Along with life coaching, I offer weight loss coaching services as well. Oftentimes people will come to me highly dissatisfied with their physical selves. Dissatisfaction is fine, but when it turns in to self-loathing, we have a problem. There are 2 reasons for this.
First, self-loathing creates a constant stream of negative self-talk that can lead to anxiety and depression. These are often the preconditions of emotional/comfort eating, which of course can lead to more self-loathing.
Second, as was suggested in the previous section, telling your body you “hate” it may well cause it to underperform, or to shut down entirely.
Loving the Body You Have
I’ve been working in the field of weight loss for over 11 years now. I’ve worked with hundreds of people. I’ve never once seen anyone lose weight successfully based on hating who they are. If that’s the starting point, then, IMHO, the program is doomed to fail. We can’t “hate” ourselves in to becoming the people we want to be.
To be existentially dissatisfied? Absolutely. Dissatisfaction is the engine of change. It’s the right reason to want to change. But to change based on a negative emotion like hatred? No way. Negativity just breeds more of the same and will ultimately sabotage our efforts. We just can’t afford it.
This may be a hard pill to swallow, but if you don’t like who you are, and you’d like to change it, then start by learning to love yourself, just the way you are, right now. You don’t have to “like” you, but you do have to “love” you.
How can you do this?
Learning to Love Yourself
Loving yourself requires that you become comfortable with who you are, just the way you are. If you’re simply dissatisfied with yourself, then that’s healthy and a great starting point. But if you experience self-loathing or self-hatred, this is not good.
Oftentimes such feelings are the result of past trauma, and this can be worked through using different modalities. There are treatments for trauma, including psychotherapy, EMDR, EFT, and the like. There are yoga therapists who work to help release the trauma that’s locked in your body. I’m a fan of this: remember, when you tell yourself you hate yourself, your body shuts down. You “lock in” the hatred in your tissues: muscles, ligaments, tendons, joints, nerves, etc.
You can also practice Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and Reality Therapy to help improve your level of thinking.
I’d also suggest touch therapy. This is where I come in. I love all bodies. All bodies are beautiful, in my world, and I hold no judgments against anyone for how they look physically. Under my hands you’ll experience caring touch, and there you can practice learning to accept being touched intimately.
As you allow yourself to be touched intimately, you will experience a flow of positive energy. You will “feel” that there is no judgment or disgust coming from me, unlike the judgment and disgust you heap on yourself. Over time, you’ll come to see yourself the way I do: perfect in every way, just the way you are.
You can book a special “Sensate Therapy” session with me designed to help you overcome any issues you might have with your body. Or you can book an erotic massage. The choice is up to you, but both will go a long way in helping you learn to love you just the way you are.
You can call or text to book an appointment: 647-703-9515. Alternately you can e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org, or you can contact me through this form here: www.marcspinozamassage.com/contact. I look forward to hearing from you!