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Taking Care of the Child Within

Privileged to Learn

I have had many great privileges in my life, but the best ones have had to do with opportunities I’ve been given to grow personally.  Good mentorship has taught me a lot about being able to be authentic mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically.  I’ve been instructed well, and challenged to go places (within myself), and to do things, that I might not otherwise have done.  And I have benefitted greatly.

One of my mentors, several years ago, challenged me to begin parenting what she called my “Inner Child.”  Honestly, I had no idea what she was talking about, and it took me several iterations to get it right.

She explained to me that most of us didn’t receive everything we needed from our caregivers growing up.  For some, it amounted mostly to minor omissions that are straightforward to work through.  But for others, many of the omissions were egregious.  They ended up harming us, in one way or another.

 

The Answer

The key, I was told, was to stop relying on others to take care of the guy she called “Little Marc.”  She was clear about this: “There is a little guy inside of you who is crying out to be taken care of,” she said.  “He didn’t feel safe in his family of origin, and now he needs you to make him feel safe.  You need to PARENT him.  Nobody else will be able to take care of him, and remain true to his needs, the way you will.”

What a concept!  My fears, resentments, anger, rage, depression, anxiety, all of it turned out to be his little voice screaming at me: “Make them stop!  Stop letting them take advantage of you!  Stop letting them hurt you!”

It was because of his voice – and my eventual willingness to listen to it – that I began to learn how to set appropriate boundaries with people who didn’t always have my best interests at heart.  And also, there were times when I would have to talk to the little guy to walk him through a tough situation or encounter that I had to deal with.  Sometimes he needs reassurance, and sometimes he needs outright protection.

 

Parenting Our Inner Children

I have no children of my own, but I do know this much: sometimes parenting requires giving in to the wishes of the child, and sometimes it requires saying no.  But when we say no, we can do so with an explanation so that the child can learn and gain a level of comfort with our decision.

So it is when we work with our inner child.  There are times when the child needs to be protected, and so boundaries with others are appropriate.  But, at other times, we can gently say “no” to the child within and explain why we are choosing to live in the unease of a given situation.  We can walk him/her through it, offering counsel and explanation where necessary, in order to help them better understand how to navigate life going forward.

 

Who am I?

My name is Marc Spinoza, and I am an escort/Sacred Intimate in the Greater Toronto Area.  I offer Experiential Intimacy Coaching and escort services from my home base in Mississauga.  I also do outcalls in the GTA and beyond.  The platform I work off is erotic massage, to build connection and intimacy with those I work with.

I also offer life coaching services in the context of Intimacy Coaching.  I can help you work through sticking points and issues in your life that hold you back.  I can help you become the best “you” that you can be.

If you think that you might have issues to work through around your relationship with your inner child, I’d be happy to help.  Perhaps you fear intimacy – physical or otherwise – and it’s something you’d like to work through.  I can certainly help you to do this.

If you think you might like to learn more about what I do and how I do it, I invite you to reach out to me at www.marcspinozamassage.com/contact, or at marcspinoza2017@gmail.com.  Alternately you can call/text me at 647-703-9515.  I’d love to hear from you!

29 Jul 19